I've been feeling a lot better about stuff recently. I think the trip to Reno really helped (did I mention I went on a spur of the moment trip to Reno a few weekends ago? No? Oh. Well, I did. It was awesome), even though right when I got back it didn't feel like it. Even though I lost a bunch of money, I still had an amazing time.
And I've been cooking! Well, baking. And cooking. Kind of. I learned how to make ravioli from a bag (purchased at costco, good for many meals!), as well as pumpkin spice white chocolate chip cookies. And tonight, I helped my mom make cranberry sauce. That was exciting.
It's my mom's first time making Thanksgiving dinner, so I offered to help...not just because she will need help (which I'm not sure if she actually will or not, but whatever) but because I'll get to learn how to make a bunch of stuff that I've never made before. Even though I'm making mashed potatoes and pumpkin spice white chocolate chip cookies. Which I've made. Anyway. Plus, it'll be bonding time. And my mom and I haven't really had cooking time together before.
Also, I made it to 23! My birthday was on Saturday, and that was fun. I went out to dinner with a couple friends, then went out to the bars. I didn't get too crazy (I only had 2 drinks the whole night!) but it was an enjoyable evening. And the people who were there all meshed well, which was nice. You always have to worry about that sort of thing when planning a gathering, I suppose. So I'm glad that the people who showed up were all meshable. (I don't care that meshable isn't a word. I'm using it.)
I'm excited for Thanksgiving though. I've gotta say, I never thought I'd be super excited about coming home, but this time I really was. I guess because I haven't really spent time with my sort of whole family since August when I had my surgery (is that right? August? Saw Mom in Vegas at the beginning of October, saw Daniel in New York in the middle of October...yep, August it was) so this will be nice.
Plus, I've already gotten two new pairs of jeans, so that's always something to look forward to!
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, September 1, 2008
Whisper her name...
Talk about an eventful night.
Last night, I had a birthday party for a friend of mine. It was a special birthday party though, definitely not the typical kind. First of all, she doesn't live in northern California. She's in Santa Barbara. Well, really, she's buried there.
My first real week in New York, my friend killed herself.
I remember getting the call. My mom called me at 10am on that Friday morning. I was upset that she had called that early because it was my only day to sleep in, and I wanted to sleep til noon. I didn't pick up, but she didn't leave a message. I called her back right away, asking if it was important. She said it was, but if I was still sleeping I could call her back later. That caught my attention. She was calling to tell me that on Wednesday, M had taken her life.
I hadn't talked to M in a few months, so I didn't really know what was going on in her life, but she had emailed me around Thanksgiving to wish me a happy birthday and to comment on the fact that I was thinking about becoming a Jewish educator. She thought it was so cool that I might be a rabbi or a cantor or a teacher of Judaism. She told me that she was bragging to her boyfriend about it and everything.
God, I miss her.
We were never that close or anything, but our families were in the same group at the temple. Our Havurah (basically a group of families that make up another family) always had events planned, so we hung out a lot. When I was younger, I actually thought she didn't like me. Of course, that's how I feel about a lot of people, but for her it was worse because she was in my Havurah. Anyway, eventually we became a little closer, hanging out when our moms would get together. She was such a tomboy, and I was a girly girl, so our personalities clashed, but one day when it was raining we put bathing suits on (I put the top of mine on backwards) and did a rain dance. There are pictures.
Anyway, last night I had a birthday party for her, and I guess things just hit me harder than I was expecting them to. It also didn't help that I drank a lot. (For those of you who want to know how much I had - an entire bottle of white wine, a triple sec and pomegranate juice, two and a half pina coladas...that's all I can remember. It's possible I had other drinks.) There was a lot of crying, and a lot of text messaging, and a lot of conversations that should have been had while sober. I think the thing that keeps getting me through this is that at least she's not hurting anymore. Silver lining.
Happy birthday, M. I hope you're doing better, wherever you are.
Last night, I had a birthday party for a friend of mine. It was a special birthday party though, definitely not the typical kind. First of all, she doesn't live in northern California. She's in Santa Barbara. Well, really, she's buried there.
My first real week in New York, my friend killed herself.
I remember getting the call. My mom called me at 10am on that Friday morning. I was upset that she had called that early because it was my only day to sleep in, and I wanted to sleep til noon. I didn't pick up, but she didn't leave a message. I called her back right away, asking if it was important. She said it was, but if I was still sleeping I could call her back later. That caught my attention. She was calling to tell me that on Wednesday, M had taken her life.
I hadn't talked to M in a few months, so I didn't really know what was going on in her life, but she had emailed me around Thanksgiving to wish me a happy birthday and to comment on the fact that I was thinking about becoming a Jewish educator. She thought it was so cool that I might be a rabbi or a cantor or a teacher of Judaism. She told me that she was bragging to her boyfriend about it and everything.
God, I miss her.
We were never that close or anything, but our families were in the same group at the temple. Our Havurah (basically a group of families that make up another family) always had events planned, so we hung out a lot. When I was younger, I actually thought she didn't like me. Of course, that's how I feel about a lot of people, but for her it was worse because she was in my Havurah. Anyway, eventually we became a little closer, hanging out when our moms would get together. She was such a tomboy, and I was a girly girl, so our personalities clashed, but one day when it was raining we put bathing suits on (I put the top of mine on backwards) and did a rain dance. There are pictures.
Anyway, last night I had a birthday party for her, and I guess things just hit me harder than I was expecting them to. It also didn't help that I drank a lot. (For those of you who want to know how much I had - an entire bottle of white wine, a triple sec and pomegranate juice, two and a half pina coladas...that's all I can remember. It's possible I had other drinks.) There was a lot of crying, and a lot of text messaging, and a lot of conversations that should have been had while sober. I think the thing that keeps getting me through this is that at least she's not hurting anymore. Silver lining.
Happy birthday, M. I hope you're doing better, wherever you are.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I have a bone to pick...with myself...
I don't know if it's because I'm a scorpio, or because I'm a redhead, or because I'm a middlechild, but I am hot-tempered. I'm not kidding, I get angry SO quickly.
Here are some things that happened tonight that made me turn into bitch-mode:
Backstory: My mom and I were going to watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on DVD. How can you get mad at anything when it comes to that?
Exhibit A: My mom put the DVD in, then went into the kitchen to get something to eat. The menu started playing. The DVD menu for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants basically gives the entire movie away. That was stupid. (I've seen it already AND read the book, so it didn't much matter to me that that was happening, but it seemed pointless.) Also, the menu preview thing just plays over and over and over again. So I watched it three times while waiting for my mom to get back from getting food from the kitchen.
Exhibit B: Our DVD player isn't calibrated correctly, so no matter what the DVD is, the default language is French. The movie started playing, in French, and I basically said very meanly to my mom (who didn't even have the remote, my brother did) "OUR DVD PLAYER ISN'T CALIBRATED RIGHT, YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE LANGUAGE!" and then I noticed that my brother had the remote and said "Sorry, I thought you had the remote." And she said "and you needed to say that meanly because...why?" No response from me.
Exhibit C: My mom stretched out on the couch and put her feet on me. I hate feet. I think she knows that. I just sighed loudly a lot and kind of squirmed. Eventually she moved them.
Exhibit D: There's a part in the movie where Carmen's dad's fiance comes in and says that Maria is there to do do the sheets, and Carmen should get up, and Carmen protests and says that she can do the sheets herself. Carmen says "it's fine, people wash their own sheets all the time." And my brother said "really?" but he didn't sound like he was kidding, he sounded like he was serious (because we have a maid who comes once a week and washes our sheets). And then I looked at him incredulously and said "You're not going to have a maid in college, good luck with life." And my mom was like "why are you being so mean?"
Exhibit E: My mom started falling asleep so I felt like turning off the movie and just going to bed. She was missing all the important parts of the movie! And it frustrated me.
Who gets that upset while watching a MOVIE? Seriously.
Here are some things that happened tonight that made me turn into bitch-mode:
Backstory: My mom and I were going to watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on DVD. How can you get mad at anything when it comes to that?
Exhibit A: My mom put the DVD in, then went into the kitchen to get something to eat. The menu started playing. The DVD menu for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants basically gives the entire movie away. That was stupid. (I've seen it already AND read the book, so it didn't much matter to me that that was happening, but it seemed pointless.) Also, the menu preview thing just plays over and over and over again. So I watched it three times while waiting for my mom to get back from getting food from the kitchen.
Exhibit B: Our DVD player isn't calibrated correctly, so no matter what the DVD is, the default language is French. The movie started playing, in French, and I basically said very meanly to my mom (who didn't even have the remote, my brother did) "OUR DVD PLAYER ISN'T CALIBRATED RIGHT, YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE LANGUAGE!" and then I noticed that my brother had the remote and said "Sorry, I thought you had the remote." And she said "and you needed to say that meanly because...why?" No response from me.
Exhibit C: My mom stretched out on the couch and put her feet on me. I hate feet. I think she knows that. I just sighed loudly a lot and kind of squirmed. Eventually she moved them.
Exhibit D: There's a part in the movie where Carmen's dad's fiance comes in and says that Maria is there to do do the sheets, and Carmen should get up, and Carmen protests and says that she can do the sheets herself. Carmen says "it's fine, people wash their own sheets all the time." And my brother said "really?" but he didn't sound like he was kidding, he sounded like he was serious (because we have a maid who comes once a week and washes our sheets). And then I looked at him incredulously and said "You're not going to have a maid in college, good luck with life." And my mom was like "why are you being so mean?"
Exhibit E: My mom started falling asleep so I felt like turning off the movie and just going to bed. She was missing all the important parts of the movie! And it frustrated me.
Who gets that upset while watching a MOVIE? Seriously.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Freak out.
I've been very busy lately. Erik and Beth left on Thursday. I've been hanging out with people from my theatre internship the other nights. It's just been a very full week. So. I haven't posted.
I feel bad when I don't post, because at first I was very enthusiastic, and now I'm not so much. I mean, I still want to get my thoughts out there, but at the same time...I feel like people don't care that much about what I have to say.
Tonight I kind of freaked out, because I couldn't get in to my apartment. This has happened before, but tonight I was a little more scared because my phone was very close to dying. I called my parents after I tried for five minutes to get in to no avail. They kept giving me suggestions, but finally I just started buzzing people hoping SOMEONE would be awake and would buzz me in. Luckily, after buzzing four people someone let me in. They buzzed it for just long enough to let me through the front door. My key doesn't work in the front door for some reason, but it works in the second. Thank goodness it does, otherwise I would still be outside!
In other news, I have a thing for piano players. The professor plays piano. For some reason, I kind of think it doesn't matter what age or sexual orientation you are if you play piano. You could be 32 and gay, and I would still totally have a crush on you if you play piano. But at the same time you could be 40 and straight, and I would have a crush on you too if you had those magic fingers.
I'm not really sure why I like piano so much. I guess it's just soothing or something. It calms me down.
I'm drunk. I don't make sense.
In MORE other news, I just found out that a guy that I kind of thought was cute last Monday is straight, and not gay like most of the interns thought. He told me tonight that I "clean up nice". Sweet. He's cute. Too bad I'm leaving NY two weeks from Monday. Oh well.
This post is stupid. Whatever. I'm going to the beach with my cousin in the morning. Awesome. Goodnight.
I feel bad when I don't post, because at first I was very enthusiastic, and now I'm not so much. I mean, I still want to get my thoughts out there, but at the same time...I feel like people don't care that much about what I have to say.
Tonight I kind of freaked out, because I couldn't get in to my apartment. This has happened before, but tonight I was a little more scared because my phone was very close to dying. I called my parents after I tried for five minutes to get in to no avail. They kept giving me suggestions, but finally I just started buzzing people hoping SOMEONE would be awake and would buzz me in. Luckily, after buzzing four people someone let me in. They buzzed it for just long enough to let me through the front door. My key doesn't work in the front door for some reason, but it works in the second. Thank goodness it does, otherwise I would still be outside!
In other news, I have a thing for piano players. The professor plays piano. For some reason, I kind of think it doesn't matter what age or sexual orientation you are if you play piano. You could be 32 and gay, and I would still totally have a crush on you if you play piano. But at the same time you could be 40 and straight, and I would have a crush on you too if you had those magic fingers.
I'm not really sure why I like piano so much. I guess it's just soothing or something. It calms me down.
I'm drunk. I don't make sense.
In MORE other news, I just found out that a guy that I kind of thought was cute last Monday is straight, and not gay like most of the interns thought. He told me tonight that I "clean up nice". Sweet. He's cute. Too bad I'm leaving NY two weeks from Monday. Oh well.
This post is stupid. Whatever. I'm going to the beach with my cousin in the morning. Awesome. Goodnight.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Too many thoughts are running through this head of mine
I've started and deleted four entries in the past 20 minutes. None of them seemed interesting enough, so I'll just summarize them all here:
1. Last night I was terrified that someone broke into my brother's apartment somehow because I heard a loud bang in the living room. However, when I went to check (which I HAD to because my cousin made me) nothing was out of place...fricken weird.
2. My friend Erik (from the same theatre group as The Director) is in town and we're going to see August: Osage County tonight! I'm excited. I hope he doesn't get all flirty and weird like he normally does. But, since that's how he normally acts...He probably will. I'm excited to see him though, it's been a long time.
3. In Jane Green's novel, Swapping Lives, married men and women seem to not have opposite sex relationships with non-married men and women. I'm not married, so I don't know.
But it kind of seems true. I don't think either of my parents have relationships with non-married couples, nor would they go to lunch with one of their friend's opposite counterparts. I'm not quite sure though. Hmmmmmmm. Questions, questions.
4. I've recently discovered Pandora.com and I LOVE it. I typed in Ferras and now I get to listen to all sorts of awesome people like Ingrid Michaelson, Sara Bareilles, Ben Folds, The Afters, The Weepies, etc etc etc. AWESOME!
and now I'm off to see August: Osage County!
1. Last night I was terrified that someone broke into my brother's apartment somehow because I heard a loud bang in the living room. However, when I went to check (which I HAD to because my cousin made me) nothing was out of place...fricken weird.
2. My friend Erik (from the same theatre group as The Director) is in town and we're going to see August: Osage County tonight! I'm excited. I hope he doesn't get all flirty and weird like he normally does. But, since that's how he normally acts...He probably will. I'm excited to see him though, it's been a long time.
3. In Jane Green's novel, Swapping Lives, married men and women seem to not have opposite sex relationships with non-married men and women. I'm not married, so I don't know.
But it kind of seems true. I don't think either of my parents have relationships with non-married couples, nor would they go to lunch with one of their friend's opposite counterparts. I'm not quite sure though. Hmmmmmmm. Questions, questions.
4. I've recently discovered Pandora.com and I LOVE it. I typed in Ferras and now I get to listen to all sorts of awesome people like Ingrid Michaelson, Sara Bareilles, Ben Folds, The Afters, The Weepies, etc etc etc. AWESOME!
and now I'm off to see August: Osage County!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
We are family...
I had brunch with my cousin (David) and my brother (Daniel) today. It was really interesting. I'm not a big talker, but I feel like I contributed to the conversation a bit.
The last time I hung out with my cousin was probably in December, when my family and my dad's brother's family and my grandparents on my dad's side all went on a cruise together to celebrate my grandparent's 60th anniversary and my grandma's 80th birthday. My grandparents are the cutest people ever, by the way. They'll have been married 61 years next month, and they still act like two teenagers. They are SO cute. It's ridiculous. If I end up half as happy as them I'll consider myself very lucky. (Yes, I might have stolen a quote from Friends for that, but whatever. It's totally true.)
Anyway, the cruise was the first time the whole group of us had been together as a unit for a really long time since probably my younger brother's bar mitzvah. So it was really nice for us to all connect again, this time with us all being a bit older (David turned 30 this year, Rebecca [David's sister] is 27, Daniel is 24, I'm 21, and my younger brother Lewis is 18). It made it so we could have seemingly adult conversations. It was a very different experience, having all of us sit at a "kids table" together, being the ages we are now, versus us 10 years ago, where none of us were really at the age where we all wanted to talk to eachother. Now we've kind of formulated who we are, and what our opinions on certain subjects are, and figured out how to talk to people.
Anyway, it was really nice being able to see David and Daniel and have a real conversation with them about things that we're all interested in now and feel included, instead of having all the subjects just go right over my head. I can actually contribute. And that's a pretty cool feeling.
The last time I hung out with my cousin was probably in December, when my family and my dad's brother's family and my grandparents on my dad's side all went on a cruise together to celebrate my grandparent's 60th anniversary and my grandma's 80th birthday. My grandparents are the cutest people ever, by the way. They'll have been married 61 years next month, and they still act like two teenagers. They are SO cute. It's ridiculous. If I end up half as happy as them I'll consider myself very lucky. (Yes, I might have stolen a quote from Friends for that, but whatever. It's totally true.)
Anyway, the cruise was the first time the whole group of us had been together as a unit for a really long time since probably my younger brother's bar mitzvah. So it was really nice for us to all connect again, this time with us all being a bit older (David turned 30 this year, Rebecca [David's sister] is 27, Daniel is 24, I'm 21, and my younger brother Lewis is 18). It made it so we could have seemingly adult conversations. It was a very different experience, having all of us sit at a "kids table" together, being the ages we are now, versus us 10 years ago, where none of us were really at the age where we all wanted to talk to eachother. Now we've kind of formulated who we are, and what our opinions on certain subjects are, and figured out how to talk to people.
Anyway, it was really nice being able to see David and Daniel and have a real conversation with them about things that we're all interested in now and feel included, instead of having all the subjects just go right over my head. I can actually contribute. And that's a pretty cool feeling.
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