I feel like life is just a game of chance. Rolling the dice. If I get an even number, I'll move to New York. If I get an odd number, I'll move to San Diego. If it's doubles I'll move to Chicago. Snake eyes and I'll kill myself.
And you never know if you make the right decision, which is what kills me! You can think about something over and over and over and then you finally make the decision to do it, and after it's done, you start thinking of all the things you hadn't thought about before you made the decision. So your decision wasn't really justified because you hadn't thought of ALL the options. And then, once you think you've thought of all the options, you start questioning if you've really thought of all the options because you hadn't thought about all of them before...and the cycle goes on and on.
It's like that alternate universe theory. Like in Sliding Doors, the movie with Gwenyth Paltrow. Her whole life changes just because she did or did not get on the subway at the right time. What happens if you change the decision you think you've made because of other things you've thought of?
I wish I could say that I was on some sort of mind-altering substance to make this post make more sense in the nonsensical way.
In other news, I want to see Alice and Wonderland this weekend.