Sunday, June 27, 2010

Half as happy...

What has changed since the 1940's to now that makes divorce rates so high? My grandparents have been married since 1947 and are still just as in love today as they were when they got married. When I think of marriage among the older generation, all I can picture is happy married life. Almost every older couple I know is still married, or unfortunately widowed. When I look at my parent's generation, however, that is not the case.

I was always one of the luckier ones, with my parents still being married, but more than half of my friends when I was growing up came from divorced families. I never really speculated on why that was - why should I? My family was happy, so I didn't feel the need to. But now I've kind of begun to think about it.

What happened to love that made it so easy for couples to separate or even get divorced? Did the rise of technology instigate the fall of marriage? Technology was supposed to help communication, but it seems like it ruined it in some cases - especially when it comes to television. Families spend so much time in front of a TV set, so it seems like no one feels the need to talk anymore. Instead of just having it on as background noise, it's front and center and what everyone pays attention to. Family dinners where conversations used to take place about one's day have turned into watching something just because it's on at the same time. I'm not innocent in this either, I watch way too much TV than is probably healthy. But I still make sure that I'm communicating and not just solely focused on watching television.

I wonder if I asked my grandparents how they've stayed happy all these years they'd know the answer. And I'm not naive, I know there have also been dark times, but these are greatly outweighed by the good. I hope when I'm their age, I'll look back and know I was at least half as happy as they were.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

"Write drunk, edit sober." - Ernest Hemingway

I was never really into writing when I was younger. Sure, I wrote the occasional story or script down, but I never thought anything of it. When I was 11 or 12, I used to have conversations with friends in the car and write down all the topics we had covered. But I never really thought about writing that much.

I remember one instance, when I was in 9th grade, were we were talking about Dante's Inferno. We were given the assignment of writing a story about hell of some sort. I remember slaving over that story for the entire class period, and when the bell rang, I wasn't even halfway through. My main character hadn't even made it all the way down, but I had to end it because I had run out of time. After that, I tried not to use as much detail in the stories I wrote, because I was always afraid I would run out of time. Actually, if we're being realistic, I didn't write much after that. I didn't think what I was writing was interesting enough.

I always had a journal or a diary, but I never put much information in it because I was always afraid someone would be reading it. Which, inevitably happened on multiple occasions - both my mom and my younger brother went through my room and read it during different stages in my life. I was, of course, always on livejournal. Always aware of my ever changing privacy, I had 5 (maybe 6?) different journals, each one more private than the next.

But writing never really came that easy to me. I would write if I was bored, or if I was exceptionally upset (which happened ridiculously often during high school). I would write if I had something to say but had no one to tell it to. I didn't really write if I was happy. I felt like livejournal wasn't a place that you could really be happy, which was weird. And whenever I go back to the journals that I wrote or read during high school, I would always have the high school feeling wash over me and I would end up feeling more upset than when I started, even if I was just trying to reminisce.

Writing still isn't one of my easiest skills, but I try to do it more. I'm always worried I'll end up offending someone, even though I'm allowed to have my own thoughts. Maybe I should take Ernest Hemingway's advice and drink when I think I want to write.